Bugs are generally pretty cool. They do cool stuff and sometimes they’re cool colours and shapes. I’m not afraid of bugs, except for things like wasps because they’re scary as hell. I’m not even grossed out by them. But there is one bug that I can’t stand and that is the June Bug.
They’re too big, they’re disgusting, and they’re stupid. I shudder at the thought of them.
One night, a June Bug landed on my arm and just sat there with its wings out. I was torn between not wanting the stupid thing on me and not wanting to touch it to swat it off, and so I ended up standing there screaming that it was going to eat me. I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen a June Bug sit there with its wings out, but when you’re paralyzed with fear, it looks like it wants to eat you. The June Bug probably didn’t have the mental capacity to consider that I may be, in fact, edible. It was probably thinking about light bulbs, or poop, or whatever it is they think about.
I’m just glad I haven’t had the experience that two people I know have had: June Bugs have flown down their shirts and gotten stuck. Apparently this is a thing they do people, they fly down shirts. This is why, at night during June Bug season, I am reluctant to go out wearing anything less than a HAZMAT suit.