It's not like you were going anywhere anyway.
1. Lie in bed in self pity. You're sick. You don't want to get out of bed anyway.
2. Your mum would say you can't eat chocolate because you're sick. But she would say drink tea. Fortunately, this exists:
3. Being holed up in your room means you have more time to (and a better excuse for) binge-watching sappy movies. Or maybe something less sappy because the sight of romance makes you even more nauseous than you already are. Fight Club. You should definitely just watch Fight Club.
4. It's a good thing no one is going to bring you roses, because you can't smell them anyway.
That's true, Elsa, but could you maybe bring your ice powers over here? The only hottie near me is my fever.
6. No need to partake in any sort of anti-Valentine's activities. Because that's still partaking in this gross day.
7. You can still drown your sorrows in booze. Ok, maybe not drown, but have one drink. Thanks, asapSCIENCE!
8. This is the only bae you need to worry about (Oh god, I said "bae." I MUST be sick).
9. Screw it, eat chocolate anyway.
10. And remember, single or not, sick or not, Flaca and Maritza perfectly nailed the definition of love.
"It's like getting into a bath, but the water is like warm chocolate pudding, and The Smiths are playing, there's a light that never goes out. Oh, there's a warm lighting all over and there's like five dudes massaging you."